This is the story of a girl, whose pretty face she hid from the world. And while she looked so sad and lonely there, I absolutely love her when she smiles. Never give up on someone you can’t go a day without thinking about… Vada, if bullshit wore a bra, you’d be top heavy.–Kevin, My Girl 2 You know, it’s funny what a young man recollects, cuz I don’t remember being born. I don’t recall what I got for my first christmas and I don’t remember when I went on my first outdoor picnic, but I do remember the first time I heard the sweetest voice in the wide world…I had never seen anything so beautiful in my life. She was like an angel.—-Forrest Gump In social studies we learned that some people stole the Lindburg baby right out of their house…I think I’ll sleep with my window OPEN tonight. —Vada “My Girl” And then God smiled down and said “I hate you Alfalfa!” –The Little Rascals Now we are never going to attack the North Koreans, because they are the most evil people on the planet. How do we know that? When we get video and film footage from North Korea, they have no color. And you don’t fuck with that kind of evil. North Korea is the country that the monkeys in the Wizard of Oz came from. — Lewis Black There are many ways to hurt yourself in science class.–Dr. Delfs ******Tunnel Walk Prayer Chant****** Dear Lord, The battles we go through life, We ask for a chance that’s fair: a chance to equal our stride, a chance to do or dare. If we should win, may it by the code. Faith and honour held high. If we should lose, we’ll stand by the road and cheer as the winners go by. Day by day, we get better and better, til we can’t be beat. WON’T BE BEAT!!! The English language was supposed to be your friend but you took it and beat the hell out of it. —-Dr. Knealing I’m feeling extra fluffy today. —Ronda Tamale Kachena I’d rather push a Farmall than drive a John Deere! —Whitney aka Tractor Port Sometimes it’s not fair how beautiful your cousins can be.—Some kid in the computer lab. Speed limits are only a suggestion anyway… –Aaron (Talking about Social Psych) Ronda: This class is more painful than my cramps. Me: I’d rather be having open-heart surgery right now than be here. When daddy left, I was fourteen, and I said… never again, no man. And then I meet Gerry. This wonderful man happens to me and then, and then, and then he died! What was the point? I’m so angry I could kill somebody. I’m alone, and it doesn’t matter what job I have or what I do or what I don’t do or what friends I have, he’s not here. I mean you’re alone no matter what. –Holly Kennedy, P.S. I Love You If you wake up next Tuesday and you feel like being Batman, go for it. –Lewis Black Drunk/High Guy: Why is Missouri so full of hicks? Me: Because it’s in the south… Enzymes are like Gremlins…your kitchen cupboards will never be the same. –Dr. Coffin *Brian and Stewie have just buried Brian’s mom* Brian: “Say something.” Stewie: “What?” Brian: “Just say something please.” Stewie: “Oh for god’s sake. Um… Yea, and God said on to Abraham, ‘You will kill your son Isaac’. And Abraham said, ‘I can’t hear you, You’ll have to speak into the microphone.’ And God said, ‘Oh, I’m sorry. Is this better? Check, Check, Check. Jerry pull the high end out I’m, getting some hiss back here.” Brian: “I mean say something about my mother!” Stewie: “Oh yes, I’m sorry. Ahem…I never knew Biscuit as a Dog, but I did know her as a table. She was sturdy, all four legs the same length…” Brian: “Thanks. That’s enough.” Stewie: “Yes. Requiem in Terra Pax, and so forth. Amen.” Not the victory, but the action. Not the goal, but the game. In the deed, the glory.